Forgiveness?? What is forgiveness?? Why we should forgive one?? Those questions used to spark on to my mind all the when I was young. And i will be wondering for the answers until i got to know the answer from my mum. According to her forgiveness is a decision to let go of resentment and thoughts of revenge. The act that hurt or offended you may always remain a part of your life, but forgiveness can lessen its grip on you and help you focus on other, positive parts of your life. Forgiveness can even lead to feelings of understanding, empathy and compassion for the one who hurt you. She even asked me that ''When someone you care about hurts you, you can hold on to anger, resentment and thoughts of revenge or embrace forgiveness and move forward?'' I just stared at the wall and said ''i would hold on anger and show up my grudges''. She wonders why. Because I was grown up in that way and no one expect sorry from me. At here, my mum told that my assumption is very wrong. I should not expect everyone to be the same. What is the wrong if I go down and ask for forgiveness? Forgiveness is pure. But if you don't practice forgiveness, you may be the one who pays most dearly. By embracing forgiveness, you embrace peace, hope, gratitude and joy. Forgiveness is equal to goddess.
Now I am older enough to discover my own meaning of forgiveness. Forgiveness in one sense means being absolved of our sins. However a real forgiveness means more than just the forgiveness of our wrong actions. Divine forgiveness involves illumination. Our ignorance becomes not just temporarily absolved but transformed. Speaking on divine forgiveness Sri Chinmoy says:
“Our human mind may call it forgiveness, but God is not thinking about our inner and outer misdeeds. He just wants us to raise our consciousness so that we will increase our receptivity and oneness with Him.”
I have learned to forgive everyone. At this part, I find peace within myself. But I don’t know the way to forgive truly. Because true forgiveness requires to be sincere in our forgiveness of others we should not even remember the incident. Sometimes forgiveness can be conditional, we shall tell somebody we have forgiven them, but maybe later we will bring it up to use it against them. This is not real forgiveness. Only when we do not think about the experience have we really forgiven others.
Once there came a situation where I need to for a real forgiveness. I said some terrible things to my close friend in anger and didn't hear from her for a few weeks. Recently, I received an e-mail saying she "forgave" me but no longer wants to keep in touch, adding that it is important for her to know that I am happy.
I wrote back saying I still want to stay in touch and remain friends. I apologized profusely for my lapse in judgment, but she hasn't responded.
My dear, I thought forgiveness meant to absolve, to cease to feel resentment -- to "wipe the slate clean." Am I wrong to feel that? Isn't she still holding a grudge against me? I realize it's up to her to communicate, but I'm confused how she can claim she forgives me while still harboring bad feelings.
Moseying on down the road of life, and in the future watches my words, or eventually I may find myself friendless. I truly forgive everyone and I hope everyone should owe forgiveness to all because mistakes are done by every human being. Easily forgive and forget.
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